Good Medicine for a Rough Day

I left the office today at 6pm saying to Bryan, "This is not the life I wanted."  Right now, we are one month into owning our own business.  Anyone who has done this before knows what that means and feels like.  After working nearly 10 hours today and not making a penny, sometimes all I want is to be an hourly employee and be able to say, "well that was a rough day, but at least I made X amount of money."

I feel stretched and challenged in ways I never imagined would happen when Bryan and I decided we would be dentists.  And no, this has nothing to do with teeth and everything to do with paying bills and making sure the deposits are bigger than the withdrawals… so anyone with a small business can relate.

So naturally, I pulled the pregnancy card to get out of going to a dental meeting tonight (the massive headache was not fictitious, however I'm sure work, and not pregnancy, was the culprit).  I was going to get home and get some more work done, but that still small voice in me beckoned me to sit down, slow down, and read.  I love how the Lord knows what I need in both the little and big things.

I've been reading through the Sermon on the Mount for a few months, and it has been just the good medicine I've needed for this transition time.  Tonight I wrapped it up, and Sinclair Ferguson (via his commentary "Sermon on the Mount") was so profound.  He said, "The sphere of blessing is also the sphere of battle."  Satan wants to drag me down with worry, fear, doubt, stress, anxiety, regret, and even ingratitude.  The blessing we have to own our dental practice and to be in this position is outrageous!  How dare I complain about that blessing by telling Bryan this isn't what I want.

The answer: realign my vision.  "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." (Matt 6:33).  We are not promised an easy life, in fact the gate is narrow and the way is hard, but - it leads to life!  Surely these struggles and trials are the Lord's means to work out grace, trust, and faith in my life.  To do what he has called me to and know that he will give me what I need.  Physically yes, but even more so, in a spiritual since.  He will give me the strength to face tomorrow, of that I am sure.

You guide me with your counsel,

and afterward you will receive me to glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you?

And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;

you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.

But for me, it is good to be near God;

I have made the Lord God my refuge

that I may tell of all your works."

Psalm 73:24-28