Daring to Hope

I have been overwhelmed by the response and number of people who are praying for our Little Ones.  The hardest part of bearing the initial news following our first ultrasound was the feeling of zero hope - processing that the little one (we refer to them as Big Dubs and Little Dubs - Dubs being short for "Baby W"), Little Dubs, was alive, but just barely, that he/she would not survive, that I should expect bleeding and cramping in the coming weeks, and that was that.  No chance of survival.  But with each person praying, and each story we hear of miracle survivals of a "vanishing twin", and each day with no cramps or bleeding, my hope grows.

The babies are 11 weeks old today.  In 7 days we are half way to viable.  In 14 days we finish the first trimester.  But... in 8 days we get another ultrasound, and part of me can't wait to see the babies again, and part of me doesn't want it to happen, because we will know for sure if Little Dubs is alive or not, and his/her not being alive is the much more likely discovery.  The not knowing for sure, the hope, the desperate prayer all have lifted me, and I now dread the news, which to our doctors was sure to happen.

Please pray for peace, grace, strength, courage… and a miracle.

"My frame was not hidden from You,

when I was being made in secret,

intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in Your book were written, every one of them,

the days that were formed for me.

when as yet there was none of them."

Psalm 139:15-16