Work... and confessions from a recovering perfectionist

Work.... that sums it up!  That's what we've been up to - welcome to the real world Wingates!  With this new life, has come a business neither Bryan nor I have yet to experience.

I haven't posted in for-e-ver, which naturally means I've been avoiding all blogs in general and feeling guilty :-)  This is what I do in so many areas - I am a perfectionistic, slightly OCD, type, and when I get behind in anything (keeping up with the budget, writing thank you notes, journaling, quiet time, and now I can add blogging to that long list), I start to stress out about it.  So naturally, the best thing to do is fall off of my routine completely.

This habit is not desirable, but not harmful in the world of blogging.  However, when it comes to spending time with the Lord each day, I cannot allow this to be tolerated in my life.  It's amazing how quickly I can see change in my attitude, relationships, and demeanor in general when I am not spending time each day with the Lover and Savior of my soul.  Satan loves to plant thoughts in my head about my unworthiness because I've gone 3 days without spending time with Jesus, so naturally on the fourth day I shouldn't spent time with Him at all because I am unworthy.  Shame creeps in, and a downward spiral ensues until I am such a jerk to others and I hate the monster I've become that I finally run back to the cross.

Why do I fall for these lies so frequently? Why do I still struggle with the basic concept that I know in my head but don't apply in my heart - that salvation and the Christian life in general is by grace alone from the first to the last?  Praise be to the Lord, who does not require any goodness on my part for me to come into his presence!

Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy?  Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food.

Isaiah 55:1-2

"Do not labor for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you. For on him God the Father has set his seal... I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst."

John 6:27, 35